BSA724 Update

OK. I have tried the Script-Writing

Here it is

THE COLOURS (1ST DRAFT) 

Written by 

Bethany Hayes 

Story by 

Bethany Hayes 

INT. APARTMENT - DAY 

An apartment in daylight, quiet, serene and calm. The soft sun-light flows into the room, resting at the feet of JOEL, who is sitting on a couch with a book in hand 

Joel’s face peaceful as he reads 

Suddenly, a soft whisper wakes Joel from his book. Uncertainty grows on Joel’s face as the whisper speaks. 

softly 

WHISPER 

“Why are you reading? Shouldn’t you be working?” 

Some being is being formed on Joel’s shoulder as the whisper gets louder to a firm voice. 

louder 

WHISPER 

You’ll never get anything done. You’re so lazy.  

Now fully formed, FAZOR sitting on Joel’s shoulder leans closer to Joel’s face.  

firm 

FAZOR 

Why even bother working? You’ll mess it up anyway 

Joel’s face is notably colder, colour fading, looking greyer as he listens to Fazor’s words 

Suddenly, the apartment door flies open with a loud call from a cheerful sounding man 

proudly 

CHEERFUL MAN 

“Hey Joel! Come look at what I found!” 

Proud steps head for the couch as Joel looks up, Fazor is notable missing from Joel’s shoulder. ANDREW now stands before Joel, hands outstretched wide to show his prize 

ANDREW 

“What do you think? It’s so funny looking isn’t it!” 

Andrew presents a small object he must have found in a secondhand store, where all the weird things some from. Fazor reappears on Joel’s shoulder 

smugly 

FAZOR 

“Oh look, isn’t he lucky. He has money he can use freely without a care. You don’t deserve that luxury. He’s too cool for you to even be near 

grimly 

JOEL 

“Ya... That’s cool Andrew.” 

Joel looks back at his book while Fazor smirks gleefully. 

Andrew looks at Joel, Fazor not on his shoulder in his view. Andrew can see his friend's face and tries a new approach to get a smile from Joel 

jokingly 

ANDREW 

“Hey, remember the time when we wanted to see who could finish drinking milk the fastest? Ha ha, then we both couldn’t finish and were feeling so bad for ages afterwards?” 

Joel looking at Andrew with a small smile goes to speak. 

JOEL 

“Yaa ha ha, I rememb...” 

FAZOR 

“Pff, he’s bringing up that memory because he felt bad for you. He probably felt fine and acted to make you feel better, pitying you. You know he’s a really talented actor!” 

Fazors sudden sharp words has Joel back off from his answer 

JOEL 

“I remember... We’ve never done anything like that since...” 

Andrew now knows that his friend is upset, maybe not in the right headspace. Andrew is unaware of the COLOUR WAR he creates with Fazor 

ANDREW 

“Well, we never did that again because we learned our lesson. But we did other things that turned out better” 

Joel looks at Andrew, grey lingering over him 

JOEL 

“Like what?” 

ANDREW 

“Like.... We both took on the strongest kid in our class at the time to an arm-wrestling contest.” 

The memory flies around the room in fantastic swirls and colour, Dancing in a light. Joel stares amazed, remembering 

ANDREW 

“With the loud cheers from everyone you managed to avenge my defeat and become the new strongest!” 

The joyful memory strikes Fazor as he falls off Joel’s shoulder. Now much larger, Fazor prepares his next move. 

FAZOR 

“So what if you did that! Don’t forget that you were nothing compared to the kids in the other classes!” 

A dark thought forms from behind Joel, ready to be unleashed. 

FAZOR 

“You were never the strong one! You were just lucky that Andrew wore him out before taking you on. You can’t do anything amazing like that! 

The dark thought takes hold of Joel, having his colour fade as he looks back at Andrew still smiling at the last memory. 

JOEL 

“I just got lucky really. I wasn’t that strong” 

Andrew, surprised my Joel’s lack of enthusiasm with the good memory, then moves to a more direct approach to remind Joel of happiness. 

I feel like this is already too long. I am focusing on the words too much. I will now try a different approach

So now, I will try another technique to try and show what I am planning/thinking in my mind

Drawing each story-beat. Like a frame. Then I can work on fleshing out the in-between parts without worrying about the words

My plan worked much better than I expected. With this how I presented my story idea (along with my logline) I was able to get others to really understand my story!

I got some really good advice I didn't consider. The story part when Joel 'decides' to be colourful, his friend should not be a decision (if it was that easy, everyone would do it)

Instead, I should have Joel REALIZE that he can defeat Fazor on his own (influenced by his friend). This is both much more engaging, more for the audience to want/long to happen (the fight between him and Fazor being the final fight), and also adds that much more 'punch' to the ending

Also, once again, given the artist model 'InsideOut' along with a new one 'It's a Wonderful Life' (an older film)


But on my own, I found a trailer that used colour in a different way to others. Its colours much more bold and bright, it made me think of how I can colour Andrew and the 'Colour' he brings

It's called 'Words Bubble Up Like A Soda Pop (Cider no Yō ni Kotoda ga Wakiagaru)'
Link to tralier and info

I found a version that has English Subtitles

I will not use it as a direct artist model until I have an artist model that directly reflects the type of film I am wanting to create (one that has a soft approach to harder topics)

I can however, use it along side my concept art as an example of how I was influenced to style the colour, etc